If you’re near breaking point and your elderly loved ones refuse an in-home caregiver, what can you do? Older adults may resist assistance because they fear losing their independence and becoming a burden.
They also don’t want their privacy to be invaded and may be worried about costs. Convincing them that they need help can lead to arguments and they may just shut down altogether when you bring up the subject. This is a challenge many caregivers face. Here are some ways to make your loved ones feel more comfortable about accepting help.
Listen and understand the reasons for resistance
When older adults realize that you are listening to their objections, they are more likely to cooperate. If you involve them in the hiring process, this can help to allay their fears.
Tandem Careplanning caregivers offer in-home care and their online profiles show their experience, skills, backgrounds and personality traits. This helps you to choose a caregiver you have confidence in and feel will be a good fit.
You can reassure your loved ones that you have done your research and you’re confident you’ve found the best caregiver for their situation.
Explain your goals
Explain to your loved ones that you have a common goal. A little extra help can achieve their goal of wanting to stay in their home and your goal of having peace of mind. Be candid with them about how stretched thin you feel.
Tell them that you would feel so much better if they had someone to help with food shopping, take them to doctor’s appointments, make meals etc.
Use some outside help to convince them
If you’re not making headway, perhaps there’s someone better to talk to your parents than you, such as a family member or a close friend. If this still doesn’t work and your relationship with your parents is deteriorating, a doctor may have to have a discussion about care needs.
Consider having an assessment by an aged care professional. It will be hard for them to ignore evidence from a professional that they need assistance.
Start slowly so they can get used to the idea
Adjusting to the idea of having someone strange around is difficult. To ease the transition, it could help to have someone come in for a few hours a week and focus on less personal tasks.
Use situations, such as missing doses of important medication or burning food, to discuss your concern over their safety and wellbeing. Suggest a trial run of getting in a caregiver for a limited number of hours to give your loved ones a chance to test the waters.
When they experience the benefits and realize that it’s a way for them to stay independent and safe at home, their resistance may just disappear.
As your parents become more comfortable with assistance, you can add further hours and more tasks. Eventually, having an in-home caregiver becomes part of their routine and they realize their lives have improved as a result.
Respect their decisions and their dignity
As long as your loved ones are sound in mind, they should have the final say in the planning of their care. If they still have the mental capacity to make their own decisions, you shouldn’t be making decisions for them.
Address costs
If your loved ones are resisting assistance because they’re afraid of the costs, it will help to discuss this with them. Sharing relevant financial information could help them realize that they are able to afford in-home care and put their worries to rest.